One liner- Must read

After Marriage: A state in which husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Classic: A book which people praises, but do not read.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such away that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Love: Something You can't buy, but pay dearly for it
Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Smile: A facial curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears: A hydraulic force which makes feminine waterpower to conquer over masculine will-power.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth